Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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