Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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