but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
