So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Is it penis luge time yet?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
