Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
