Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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