If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
