it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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