If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
