dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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