I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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