He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
