i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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