chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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