It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
