1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
