I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
