he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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