So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
