: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize