So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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