I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
