She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
