life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
