Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I'm just crazy horny about you
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Randomize
