Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Randomize
