Im at strip club and am horny
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
