I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
