i dedicated my morning wood to you.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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