This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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