Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
