Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Non-Jews are for practice
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
