I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
