help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
