I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
i out mim tonsoeep
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