Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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