i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Randomize
