I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
