We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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