well I can't set my house on fire every night
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
