Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
