yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
