I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
