Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
