come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
