I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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