It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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