Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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