i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
