Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
