I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Randomize
